SWIFTY'S JOOK JOINT
jukebox off

THE KEEP

six castles I would live in · five of them won't have me

Medieval castles are architecture with a threat model. Every wall answers a specific way of being attacked, and you can read the century off the shape of a tower. These six are my favourites.

Krak des Chevaliers

Homs Gap, Syria · Hospitaller from 1142

The concentric castle at its most complete: a ring inside a ring, a sloped talus you cannot mine, and a covered ramp that turns back on itself. It fell to Baibars in 1271, and by surrender rather than by breach.

ENTER

Château Gaillard

Les Andelys, Normandy · 1196–1198

Richard I put it up in about two years on a chalk spur over the Seine, and was pleased enough to call it his saucy castle. Philip II took it in 1204 anyway, after a siege that lasted through the winter.

ENTER

Caernarfon

Gwynedd, Wales · begun 1283

Edward I's statement piece, laid out by Master James of St George. The polygonal towers and banded stone are quoting the walls of Constantinople — a conquest castle that wanted to be read as imperial.

ENTER

Château de Coucy

Coucy-le-Château, Picardy · c. 1225

Built for Enguerrand III, whose donjon — 55 m tall and 31 m across — was the largest in medieval Europe. The Coucy family motto skipped the titles they didn't have and ended, simply, "I am the lord of Coucy."

ENTER

Carcassonne

Aude, France · Roman core, 13th c. walls

Two full rings of wall with a killing ground between them, on foundations the Romans laid. Viollet-le-Duc restored it from 1853 and gave the towers their pointed roofs, which is either vandalism or a gift depending on the century.

ENTER

Malbork

Pomerania, Poland · begun 1274

The Teutonic Order's headquarters from 1309 and the largest castle on earth by land area — three castles in one, and all of it brick, because northern Poland had clay where everyone else had quarries.

ENTER

What I'd add here next