STAFF ONLY
the door has five cap-shaped keyholes. of course it does.
Be it known that thou must win the game within every room ere returning hither.
The keyholes themselves are links, shouldst thou require direction.
THE BACK ROOM
so you found all five. he's been expecting you.
◍
The posts
Nothing on the bar wall points at these. This is the only door to them.
read the posts →Your caps
The certificate
swifty's jook joint · office of the raccoon
HONORARY TRASH PANDA
this certifies that
A FRIEND OF THE RACCOON
survived the night shift, farmed nine parsnips, spared the raccoon,
took a bout to five, and outwitted Aaron Burr.
awarded · pawprint on file
Your numbers
Credits
SWIFTY'S JOOK JOINT
a small web joint, est. 2026
the office
doors, lights, and poor pay
raccoon hollow
nine parsnips, as foretold
the encounter
nobody had to die
the piste
allez, allez, allez
weehawken, dawn
ten questions, ten paces
the raccoon
as himself
you
honorary trash panda
a small web joint, est. 2026
the office
doors, lights, and poor pay
raccoon hollow
nine parsnips, as foretold
the encounter
nobody had to die
the piste
allez, allez, allez
weehawken, dawn
ten questions, ten paces
the raccoon
as himself
you
honorary trash panda
Danger zone
Know that this shall wipe thy caps, thy nights, thy farm, and every score recorded upon this device.